Saturday, January 21, 2012

365 Days Take Three! -- Day Twenty-One

"Missing Winter"

Copyright 2009.  Definitely not this winter.
All Rights. Reserved.

This year is so... odd.  It doesn't seem like winter, and yet... not spring.  It's not fall or summer either, just, odd.  I would welcome snow right now and I wish away the strange January tornadoes.  The thermometer reads 40 degrees but the wind is so bitter it feels much colder than any 40 I've felt before.  The sun shines sometimes and warms things to comfortable, but then other days it's gray and cold and yet... the ground remains a mushy brown instead of what would be a comforting white.

We packed up Christmas late this year.  I put away my tree just last night and a part of me wanted to leave it forever.  There's something about losing someone you love that makes you want to hold on to these times a little longer.  Christmas has always been a time of family and love, this year it was at least, for the most part, a time of great loss.  And so, to hold on just a little longer felt right.

Now if winter could just come.

Friday, January 13, 2012

365 Days Take Three! -- Day Thirteen

So... I missed a few days already... gotta get better at this!

Copyright 2012.
All Rights Reserved.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

365 Days Take Three! - Day Seven

I think... or rather, I'm sure, that no matter how long I live, the view of a beautiful sunset will never, ever get old.

Copyright 2012.
All Rights Reserved.

*It is almost impossible to watch a sunset
and not dream.*

- Bern Williams -

Friday, January 6, 2012

365 Days Take Three! -- Day Six

I love this photo of the ox "McDuffy" from our New Year's Trip to Shaker Village because it reminds me so much of one of my favorite childhood stories.  The story of Ferdinand, the bull that liked to just sit and smell the flowers.

There's something so peaceful in the solitude of this photo.  In the 'giantness' of this animal (who was brought to the village because he was too lazy, or perhaps too old now to do the work of a real ox) and the ease with which he just lays in this field throughout the day as tourists wander by and snap photos and wonder at the uniqueness of his hairdo.  He will follow you with his eyes sometimes, but otherwise, he just seems content to lay there and enjoy the grass.  To smell the flowers.

Copyright 2012.
All Rights Reserved.

*To find the universal elements enough to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter... to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring - these are some rewards of the simple life.*

- John Burroughs -

Thursday, January 5, 2012

365 Days Take Three! -- Day Five

While at my grandmother's house tonight, my cousins and I went through just one of them many shelves of books she has.  There are hundreds of books in her home, enough for us to read for years to come.  I chose a few to read in the coming months... thankful for this gift she left us without even realizing it.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

365 Days Take Three! -- Day Four

Copyright 2011.
All Rights Reserved.

*I used to think I knew everything.  I was a 'smart person' who 'got things done', and because of that, the higher I climbed, the more I could look down and scoff at what seemed silly or simple, even religion.  But I realized something as I drove home that night;  that I am neither better nor smarter, only luckier.  And I should be ashamed of thinking I knew everything, because you can know the whole world and still feel lost in it.  So many people are in pain - no matter how smart or accomplished - they cry, they yearn, they hurt.  But instead of looking down on things, they look up, which is where I should have been looking, too.  Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things;  comfort, love and a peaceful heart.*

-- Mitch Albom --

I did not know that losing someone could effect me so profoundly.

I did not know that two and a half weeks after her death I would still find myself crying at the drop of a hat when I think about her life and what it's meant to mine.  About growing up with her as my 'granny'... about spending countless hours of my childhood picking dandelions from her yard and tasting gooseberries and rhubarb from her garden... sneaking caramels from her closet and building puzzles at her kitchen table as we snacked on peanuts and drank pepsi.

I think about our trips to the beach and our long talks on the back deck.  I think about how just a few months ago she tried to hook me up with the roto rooter guy because he was very "good looking Rachel!" 

I think about all of the times she called me in the weeks before her death and asked me to order Christmas gifts for her because she refused to hop on into the 21st century and purchase a computer so she could get online.  I think about how she hated "the facebook" and all of our cell phones and digital cameras and how she lectured us constantly about keeping things private and having our identities stolen.

I think about how she still hugged each of us (her grandchildren) good bye everytime we left her house and offered us some bit of wisdom (be good... work hard at your job so you can get a better one... I love you...).

Mostly though, I think of how much it has affected me, more than the loss of any of my other grandparents (I've lost all of them now) - to go through this loss.  The loss of my mother's mother.  I don't know why... or maybe I do, but this loss has been harder than any other.  And I say maybe I do, because I think I do and I think it's because it's the finality of the relationship that most daughter's prize so very much.  I simply cannot begin to imagine losing my mom and so, to see her lose her own mom... that's almost just as unimaginable.

It's been hard... harder than I could have imagined this would be.

But life will go on, we will honor her memory... she will not be forgotten.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

365 Days Take Three! -- Day Three

Copyright 2011.  New Year's Eve @ Shakertown
All Rights Reserved.

*In the depth of winter I finally learned
that there was in me an invincible summer*

-- Albert Camus --

Sunday, January 1, 2012

365 Days Take THREE! -- Day One :)

Starting out this round of 365 Days a little different by actually starting on the first day of the year this year.  And hoping to actually come MUCH closer to posting 365 days worth of photos because no kidding... I came no where near that this last time.  So here goes nothing!

Copyright 2012.  New Years Day at Shaker Village of Pleasant Hill
All Rights Reserved.

 *It is the sweet, simple things of life
which are the real ones after all.*
-- Laura Ingalls Wilder